yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
