please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
