Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
