No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Im part way to drunk.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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