at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
