I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
operation harelip BJ is a go
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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