And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
