That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
