It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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