THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
