mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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