Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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