You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
