Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
