I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
