I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
