My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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