Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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