ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Randomize
