You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
