so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
