Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
