There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
