No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
