Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
