on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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