just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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