i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
