lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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