OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
