to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
