i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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