Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Randomize
