awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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