I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
