i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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