worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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