i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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