I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
