Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
