i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
