my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
