You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
