I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
