i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
