It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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