Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
