This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
