yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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