I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
