Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
