So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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