The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
