I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
