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There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
