My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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