So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
