mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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