Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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