i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
