we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
