I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
