I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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