you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I am available for nakedness
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
