I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
